Tuesday, November 2, 2010

I'm gonna change your life...

Hey there...


 Man, do i feel fucked up today! Just came back home from a trip to Berlin with my best friend and we had a great time. But last night i drank a little too much and i feel like i got a lobotomy while sleeping. on the way to the airport i started sweating and had to concentrate hard so that i dont puke into the taxi. i haven't been ruined like this for ages...but this has been my first holiday with my best friend since 4 years, so it's ok to feel fucked up for one day...
Berlin is an amazing city. It was the third time i went there and i frickin love it (and its inhabitants). I think it's my favourite city in Europe...i feel like i have to go and live there for a while. maybe next summer...
Every time i go there, i feel good about people. i have met so many nice, interesting, funny, charming, open-minded and creative people that im impressed. i know that might just be an tourist impression, but it doesnt matter.


it underlines the fact that life basically is about human relationships. but we tend to forget how precious relations can be. you are so used to be surrounded by people that you forget how important they are. and how much influence they can have over you. they can change your life.
i used to be a pretty negative and overly sensitive person. i still am in many ways. but i once met a wise young man who was able to change my whole perspective within a couple of hours. he said so many smart things...not to impress me, just because he listened to me and then gave me this idea of things. very simple ideas that actually now are engraved in my mind and since then i am a totally different person in many ways. and there are more people out there that do the same all the time...

im happier, i regard life as your one and only chance to make a difference and to enjoy yourself. to see the good things but also not look away from the bad things. and the most important idea is that you have to learn how to accept things. how to stop fighting against everything. i used to do that a lot and i suffered a lot. now im less attached to things/people (which doesnt mean that i dont appreciate or love them) and i stopped fighting about things i cant change.

i now accepted that my dad is not gonna change his life. he's has been on the road to ruin for years but i will never be able to change his ways. and that is alright. i have to accept the fact that i cant have influence over everything and everyone. it's alright. but that's why i also try to live my life in a way that makes me happy and try to avoid suffering as much as i can. i accepted myself and others and life the way it is and now i can enjoy things/people to the fullest.

these 4 days were all about it. i cant explain the relationship between my best friend and me. it's very strong. we constantly think the same, say the same. we mainly have the same ideas about life and we share everything. im so thankful to have a friend like her.  i couldnt do without her. id do everything for her. i wished every human being had a friend like that. and not just tons of facebook friends you barely know. 

the only thing that ruins my happiness is that many great people that i really appreciate do not live in vienna, not even in austria and sometimes even on a different continent. but im glad there are aeroplanes and i can see them at least sometimes. 

now comes another friend and brings me food and a movie. otherwise id starve to death and feel a little sad tonight. leaving a place always makes me a little sad. but yeah, i cant change it...and it's gonna be alright tomorrow...

enjoy your fellow humans and take care....

PS: my recommandation today is a band called The Thermals. their song "Im gonna change your life" reflects what im thinking about today....i wanna change peoples' lives....i wanna give them something. something good. and i will keep doing my best....