Arrhythmic Palpitations...

Hello everyone!!

How has life been treating you lately?? All going well? Or are you stressed out and on the verge of a nervous breakdown??

Well, I still owe you the "hospital story"...so, I was in hospital for this surgery. My doctor diagnosed gall stones and at the hospital they didnt doublecheck, not even a ultrasonic or anything to make sure that my doctor didn't see something that was not there. I arrived in hospital, I got my own private room with no other people...I got food and then I slept.
At 7 o'clock next morning, the nurse kinda kicked me out of bed and they got really nervous because the surgery was preponed...so they gave me the funny dress, the one where your whole back is showing and a little pill...this pill made me feel really funny. I was calm and had nice little conversations with the people who brought me down to the surgery room.
Then I talked to one of the assistants of the surgeon - through his dialect I figured out that we came from the same region, and he also knew my father (well, who doesnt in my hometown...he's a legend...) He was really nice and said he was going to take extra care of me....we entered the surgery room, the lights almost blinded me...the nurse initiated an intravenous acces, the anesthetist told me that i would get some air and put the mask on my face...
and ZOOM...I passed out...

and the next thing I remember is waking up in my room feeling fucked up...I just woke up and the surgeon came in to "make my day"...he told me that the surgery was a bit difficult because I was so thin and they didnt have much space to "navigate" inside me...they cut out the gall bladder, but it was ALRIGHT...there were NO STONES inside...
When he said that I got real grumpy and asked him if he was kidding...why they didnt doublecheck, maybe my doctor did a wrong diagnose...and he argued that the gall bladder looked a bit weird, so it might have been infected in the past and that we would have to wait for the histological report...

When he left, I felt so angry and somehow "fucked by the system"...I mean how can they cut up a person without even knowing if that person has a real problem or if the other doctor has made a mistake?? How can they risk killing you with anesthetics if it isnt even necessary?? My aunt came to visit me and got mad at the doctors too. But what could we do?? It was already done and my belly button looked like someone had hassled it with a huge metal tube or so....

And because it all was too much for me...I felt sick and had to throw up...but throwing up is really disgusting if a) you havent eaten anything for more than one day and b) if you had a surgery around your belly...it was horrible! I had to push real hard on my belly button so that it didnt hurt so much while throwing up...believe me, it was not a nice scene!!

To be able to navigate the instruments inside my body, they had to blow my ribcage up like a balloon. One day after the surgery, I had a hard time moving in bed because my whole body ached...the pain in my neck, shoulders and chest was worse than the pain around my belly button.

But the worst part of being in hospital was not the pain or the sight of all these poor old people who have problems way worse than mine...it was the food. So disgusting...if my aunt hadnt brought me salt sticks, gummy bears and Oreos I'd have starved in hospital...they brought me a potato soup that was super thick and taking the lid of the plate, it "build a skin" real quick...yuck! and there was a fruit jelly...it makes me gag when I think of it...I think it was made from the sugary fruit water of canned fruit....

But soon I was home and the first thing I ordered was a pizza...and I had to work on my thesis for one more time. In one week I changed many little things, formated the paper, but all the stuff together that it still needed like a CV, a German abstract, an index (Christ, next time I pay someone to do this!!!), a table of contents and all this stuff...
I asked Rafael to draw me an interpretation of my thesis...here you see what my thesis is about :-)

And well, some days later I handed it in...and it has already been graded....and so on 21 May, I got my final exam!!

Which is not far ahead...and i got sooo much to study....and some stuff is really dry subject matter...so in between reading books and printing articles that I gotta read, I go a little crazy...Have you ever felt like this?? That crazy feeling you get when you study a lot?? Like weird in the head?? A friend told me to get some speed to study...she read an article in a German newspaper that this is really common...and that the amazing thing is that the stuff you've learned while being on speed, actually sticks in your memory...
However, Im going the oldschool drug-free way of caffeine...and tons of showers...it's amazing how much a simple shower can help when your brain starts swelling and you feel insanity creeping around the corner...

The days before my exam I'm also gonna work. Because I really need money. Im used to having enough to pay an appartment and go on trips whenever I want. But since I went to Italy for the exchange semester, I have not been working. So money is scarce....Therefore, I work at this real estate fair- nothing real exciting, but well paid...however, in the last 3 days before my exam I should already have studied everything...I wish this is going to be like this!! So wish me luck and send me positive mojo!!!

xoxo
S

PS: Today, I'd like you to listen to this band called Dead to Me...they are the follow-up band of one of my favourite punk bands from San Francisco, One Man Army...although the original singer has temporarily quit the band, they still do a great job...here you go (sorry, no better quality available...if you want the song, send me a mail!!): Arrhythmic Palpitations by Dead to Me